This week's TIME magazine cover story is about the three women trying to clean up the Wall Street/Banking mess (which I think was created mainly by greedy, power-hungry men). One of the women was told by a partner of a New York firm to ask herself if she thinks she would ever be made a partner. When I had asked myself the same question about 15 years ago, my answer was "slim chance" -- being a female and Asian and a mother of two. But the real reason I left was because I realized I didn't want to be a partner in a big law firm. The partners I worked with may have made the big bucks but they were there late into the night when deals were nearing closing. Sure, the male partners were able to go see their children play sports or attend other family events more readily than an associate. I guess my problem was that there were no female partners with children to be my mentor. Heck, there weren't even any female associates with kids to talk to. I got my summer associate job when I was pregnant but didn't show until a few weeks into the job. Luckily I was already in the door and impressed them enough to get a job offer. It was a risk to have my first child while in law school. It was a great challenge to raise him while finishing law school and then when I started working. Let me just say that breaking the glass ceiling when you have children is way harder than breaking through when you're single or just married. Being Asian was another obstacle. There were times when I wished I were a white male so that I could get ahead but, in the end, I believe that all things are the way they are for a reason. I am happier now than when I was working with those white men and ever grateful that I didn't become one of them. I thought I was over the sexism and discrimination feelings. But....Now I get to experience a different glass ceiling -- in the world of acting. Michael's dreams of being an actor are limited by his being Chinese. This seems to be one of the few fields where blatant discrimination based on ethnicity is acceptable. We knew this going in and have persevered. We know that the order of preference is Whites, Blacks, Latinos, and, last (yes last) are Asians. I guess the same holds true for sports such as baseball and basketball.
Maybe that's why we should move to China, where we won't be a minority. But, we will still be looked down upon because we aren't native Chinese and speak with funny accents.
Ah...what to do??
4 comments:
It's always tougher for women. They are expected to be Supermom and I truly don't believe you can have it all. One mom I knew was an Editor in Chief of a magazine and her own young daughter preferred to stay with the nanny than be with her. This made her very unhappy, but she chose her career over her family and her child felt it to the core.
That really sucks Betty... I spent my teenage years living with my grandmother who is rich and white. It caused me to have a false perception on how a minority woman wouldne treated once that white lady is gone...I still get asked if I am the nurse, the nanny, a drug deals wife...I thought it was going to be easy to make my upper crust debut, but it wasn't and I slowly backed away from that world. I can't escape it entirely becuase my family is still in it, but I can make the effort to do what I can to change it. I realized my presence is enough :)
It feels horrible to feel discriminated against, but even more so when you see it affect your child's life. I'm sure though, that Michael's personality and talent will be appreciated and valued despite the ethnicity they have in mind.
OK, I was reminded of the glass ceiling after reading the article and got annoyed with my children still having to deal with it. Sure it isn't as bad as it used to be but it's still there. For those who've experienced discrimination because of your race, sex, age, marital status, etc., I've been there too and it sucks. For those who've never experienced it, be very grateful.
Post a Comment