Holidays

Somehow, this year, I am really not in any mood to celebrate "The Holidays" in any shape or form. I can't figure out what is bothering me but there's absolutely no motivation to decorate or host a dinner.

Maybe the basement flood in September, caused by a leaking water heater, resulting in months of cleanup and repairs drained my energy. Buying things to replace stuff we had to throw out resulted in expenses we didn't budget for. Dealing with an insurance adjuster who wasn't understanding didn't help the situation. Or, perhaps throwing out my artificial tree (which was a victim of the flood) was the catalyst. Maybe it was a more important part of Christmas in my life than I had realized.

Maybe it was the specific item requested for Christmas that killed it for me. I couldn't find a man's small, plain dark red or blue zippered hoodie in any nearby stores and ended up wasting time and energy, which I didn't really have to begin with. After buying it online from Target a few weeks ago, I find out that it was the only item I bought to be back-ordered. At least I found it last week and a huge burden was lifted.

Maybe I'm waiting for my sibling to invite me over for Christmas. I am tired of hosting it at my house.

Maybe it's the whole depressing state of affairs in this country. The economy is so bad with no foreseeable solution in the near future. Everything seems to cost more than ever. The political candidates are annoying with no foreseeable savior in the near future. The crime rate is higher and my fear is rising. When people start shooting cops, what hope do I have of feeling safe?

It's already December 21st. Only four more days until Christmas. Only ten more days until my birthday.

Something wonderful has to happen to get me out of this slump. I am grateful for all the nice things people have been doing for me. I really do know how lucky and blessed I am. Having some friends over at the house last Friday was fun but so short-lived. The giant box of See's candy from my big brother was very nice. JoAnn's tin of homemade holiday cookies was also nice. Michael bought me an autographed copy of "Charlie & Kiwi" to cheer me up. Seeing our friend in a Christmas show broke the negative mood for a day or two. Lunch at Angel's house yesterday was fun and the latkes were such a treat.

I wish I knew what was wrong with my holiday spirit this year. I can't even get myself to write a annual summary of what's been going on in our lives. Does anyone really care if I send one?

Eating Healthy

No matter how hard I try to eat healthy foods, I have cravings for unhealthy stuff.

Now that our CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) farm is delivering our weekly organic summer fruits and vegetables from the North Fork of Long Island, I have been eating more vegetables again. But when my daughter came home with a bag of zeppoles, just for me...I just couldn't resist the temptation to eat one. Then another. Alas, others help eat a few but the last one in the bag, sitting in powdered sugar, kept calling my name. Until, I finally ate it.

Yesterday, I came home and discovered that my precious daughter baked chocolate chip cookies. Just because she wanted to try a new recipe. I resisted eating any for a while since I had already indulged in a section of a cinnamon sugar pretzel from Aunt Annie's earlier in the day. She told everyone that we each get five cookies. I took the littlest one, which happened to be "well toasted" on the bottom. This was in an effort to satisfy the craving and maybe turn me off from any more. After dinner, I ate my other four cookies. I couldn't believe how weak I was. I did eat my delicious fresh escarole which I picked up from the distribution site. My logic was that I rode my bike instead of driving so that was energy used up. I had also walked a lot that day so I needed to replenish all those calories I had used up.

Well...at least I am getting some healthy foods into this body of mine despite putting in junk too.

My mantra: Eat what I want since I will only live once.

I also think about another cartoon with a person asking his doctor, "Am I living longer or does it just feel like it?" So, I may not live as long as I could or should have, but I am enjoying this journey by eating what I want (usually, in moderation).

Waste of Time?

Recently, I learned how to read knitting patterns. That day, I went and bought a book with various sock patterns (using a 50% off coupon so it wasn't too expensive). I had some yarn from a friend and my mother, so that didn't cost me anything. As for the knitting needles, they were given to me when a friend's grandmother passed away. So, that was free too.

Now all I needed was some "free time" to start my project. It took me several hours to make the first pair. I succeeded and gifted them to my hubby. My next pair was made using a different pattern and larger size. I succeeded and gifted those to my hubby too. He really liked how they fit and felt.

Now I decided to tackle the fancier stitches. These looked girly, so I intended to give them to my daughter. I got bored after making the first pattern and decided to try the next one. This resulted in a pair of socks which look the same from afar but had different patterns by the ankle and different toe endings (one pointed and one blunt). So, I had to make another one (but I chose yet another pattern). She was still not happy. So, I made yet another sock using a fourth pattern. Mind you, these four socks are all made from the same exact giant skein of yarn and look similar (when you have shoes on and are standing a few feet away).

All along, my youngest is telling me to stop making socks for his sister if she's going to be so ungrateful. Yet, I continued. Making a different pattern with each new sock. Eventually, I ran out of that yarn. That skein of off-white yarn yielded a total of five socks. Yup! Two and a half pairs.

I tried to convince her that people are selling mismatched socks and others are intentionally mismatching their socks and even sneakers. It helped when I pointed out that the only people who would know the designs were different were those in our household and nosy people (and I guess anyone who read this blog). She reluctantly took two with similar toes and wore them for a few minutes, in the house. I kept the other three mismatched socks for myself.

Luckily, I have another big skein yarn just like the first one, BUT....it's pink! This time, I am using smaller needles to see if the socks will have a different feel. I also vow to make two of the same pattern so that there will be matching pairs for picky recipients.

So....was this all a waste of time when I could've bought a pair of socks for only a few dollars? No....I'm having fun and learning to follow instructions. I used to just be creative and make what I felt like and could never reproduce anything identical. It would've annoyed me to make a good sock and not be able to make a second. Another good thing, I can now knit much faster than when I first started. It doesn't take nearly as long to knit a pair of socks compared to a few weeks ago.

Think about it, I would've wasted my time doing something else, like being on Facebook or writing a blog. Gosh, I could've been knitting a sock with the time I spent typing this up.

Spare Time

What is "spare time" really? I guess I would consider it any time that I am left over with AFTER having to do everything that must be done. But am I using up my spare time if I go on Facebook in the morning to see what everyone else is posting, BEFORE I do my chores or errands?

When I find myself waiting for a child at some class or activity, I always bring along something to do. I like making something -- knitting, crocheting, sewing, etc. I can still chat and multitask at the same time. Otherwise, there's always organizing my schedule or cleaning out my purse. Once in a while, I'll read on the subway or bring a Kakuro puzzle book to solve. I can't seem to be idle -- lest I fall asleep!

The best thing to do during "spare time" is .... take a nap or bath. Yeah, I think those are the winners! But the problem is the addiction to all the distractions on the computer: Spider Solitaire, Facebook, Yelp, Twitter, emails, etc.

Now that tax time is looming, I must put aside some of those distractions and get the papers in order. There goes a big chunk of spare time :(