Door Project - Gone

"There are places I remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all" -- Beatles, In My Life

While I went around New York City trying to take a photograph of all the doors that were important in my life, I couldn't help but think of the lyrics to the Beatles song, In My Life.

I decided to take some photos of the places as they stand now --  an empty lot, a rebuilding project, and an altered entrance.

When I retired from practicing law, I decided to spend a year focusing on ME.  Before that, it was school, then work, then family, and there was never enough time to get to do the things I wanted to do.  That year off gave me time to explore quilting, acrylic painting, and ceramics. 

My sister is the one who got me interested in ceramics and convinced me to take a class at the 53rd Street YWCA.  The spot where it once stood is now an empty corner lot.

53rd St YWCA

Many years ago, she introduced me to a very talented ceramic artist, Pak Hing Kan.  I'm sorry to say that Pak Hing just died this week.  That woman was so kind. She knew she was losing her battle with cancer, so she offered me her fabric stash two months ago.  She told me which ones she had designed, having been a fabric designer at one point in her life.  I felt honored that she remembered that I was a quilter and wanted me to have her fabrics.

Now the place where we first met is gone and so is she.

Elmhurst Library

I wrote about the Elmhurst Library being torn down and how it motivated me to hurry up and start this project. Here is a photo of the current construction site.

This library was the place I came to as a child, all year long, to get books to read to my heart's content.

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Since September 11, 2001, much of the landscape around the country has changed, but the security measures around New York have also altered the appearances of many places.  Besides the large planters placed in front of some office buildings, look at what they did to the United Nations!  I could not get a decent shot of the entrance because of the security tent.  Of course we're not alone in this -- some Paris landmarks also have security tents.

Why is this place even in my Door Project? Well, this is where I spent many hours volunteering for UNICEF at the gift counter in the basement while a student and even a little when I was a lawyer.

During Christmas time, I would often be assigned to off-site locations such as in a bank.  One year, I worked at a bank located in the lobby of the World Trade Center.  Obviously, that door no longer exists due to the collapse of the Twin Towers.  I didn't include a photo of the construction site or new memorial built in that area because I'm not really sure where that bank once stood amongst all the rebuilding.

Even if the door no longer stands where it once did, I can still have my memories.

Door Project - Work

Looking back on my life, I realized that I didn't have that many paid jobs. The ones which paid me more were already covered in the first Door Project entry covering Midtown Manhattan.

Former FH Community House Day Care

My first paid job was as a day care assistant at the Forest Hills Community House Day Care Center. That was the summer when I turned fourteen.  I went searching for the place last week, but there wasn't a sign anywhere to be seen.  I guess they have since closed down. 

Each day I looked forward to when the kids had nap time and when I got to leave for home.  There were two important things I learned that summer: (1) I don't like to be with a large group of four year olds; and (2) they bite! Yup, I was bitten by a small boy.  He didn't want to go back inside after playground time was over. As I reached to hold his hand, he bit me on my forearm.

During my middle teenage years, I did have another job which I did at home -- crocheting the finishing touches to knitted evening wear.  It's hard to explain but I'll try.  Pieces of a sweater set or gown were made on a knitting machine and packaged together.  My sister and I would go pick them up from a place in Flushing (no photo because I don't remember where it was exactly) and bring them back home to put together into wearable items with fancy designs on the collars, hems and/or sleeves.  Since we were paid by the number of outfits we finished, I learned to do it really fast.  Many people who see me crochet are amazed by how fast I can do it.  Well, this is how I got to be so quick with my hands.  The two important lessons I learned from this job: (1) The faster I worked, the more I would be paid; and (2) stay in school so that I wouldn't have to do this type of work for a living.

One Hogan Place - Manhattan DA's Office

I spent a summer at the Manhattan District Attorney's Office - my dream job, or so I thought. As a legal intern working in the Frauds Bureau, covering white collar crimes, I did research, wrote memos, and even transcribed some wiretaps.  The people in the Frauds Bureau were really nice. 

The pay was really low. In fact, I received a public interest service grant from school to supplement my stipend.  Instead of fancy meals and events that big firms lavished on summer associates, I got to see "The Tombs", the Morgue, 911 dispatch center, and Central Booking. One of the highlights of my summer was a police ride-along with the 13th Precinct.

The three important lessons I took away from this experience were: (1) the criminal justice system isn't fair; (2) I did not have what it takes to be a DA; and (3) the police have a really tough job on the streets.

NYC Corporation Counsel

An unpaid legal internship that I had was with the New York City Corporation Counsel.  This is the City's legal department which handles non-criminal legal matters.  I was working in the Strategic Litigation and Medical Malpractice (SLAMM) unit doing legal research and writing legal documents.  I even got to write a motion to dismiss and won!  It was a pretty straight-forward case which shouldn't have included the City as a defendant but some lawyers sue everyone.  What did I learn from this job? (1) NY City gets sued for a lot of stuff and a lot of money; and (2) I hate lawyers who do things to give lawyers a bad reputation!

And there you have it, the doors which I walked through for work and the lessons I learned from each place.  I will have to discuss all the places I have volunteered with in another blog entry.

Door Project - Schools

I spent the last two days gathering more photos of doors around New York City that were a part of my life.

Today's blog entry will be about my schools -- English and Chinese. I guess it would make sense to put them in chronological order from elementary school all the way up to law school.

PS 4 - Manhattan

Schooling started in the Lower East Side, at P.S. 4, until we moved to Queens. 

In first grade we had to have a handkerchief pinned to our blouse and the teacher checked our fingernails to make sure they were clean.  Those were the days!

I also remember doing a class performance to the song "Everyday People" by Sly and the Family Stone.

I don't know which doorway of the building I entered but I liked the look of this one. 

PS 13 Q - Elmhurst

When we moved to Queens, I went to P.S. 13Q for a few years. My favorite year was third grade when I was in an "open classroom" with a fabulous teacher. We had learning centers, not rows of seats. We got to choose where we wanted to spend our time. It was so progressive.  I remember it fondly. 

JHS 73Q - Maspeth

After that, it was a daily bus ride on the 58 (except when there were none) to and from JHS 73Q in Maspeth.  There were many happy times there. Mrs. Selma S. Seid taught me how to play the viola and even loaned me an instrument so that I could continue playing when I went to high school.  I helped Mr. Mifsud as a monitor. Many hours were spent in the library helping Mrs. Stalworth.  Mr. Sosis and his law class were special. Then there was Math Team. Yes, I was a nerd.  Mr. McCabe and Mr. Lewensohn coached us and took us out to celebrate the victories.  Mrs. Bonano was the Senior Advisor and allowed us to hangout in her office. I tried to learn French from Mr. Jones, but to no avail.  I met some of my closest friends there. 

Former Stuyvesant High School - 15th Street

Stuyvesant High School.  I made it in but didn't want to commute an hour each way on the subway.  In the end, I was glad my parents insisted. If not, I would not have received a great education and would not have met some of the best people in my life.  I'll never forget some teachers like Mr. Ritterman, Mrs. Abramson, Mr. Mechanick, Mr. Todras, and Mr. McCourt.  Some teachers I forgot right after the semester was over. 

Stuyvesant High School - 16th Street

I went to my 25th reunion but didn't go to the 30th. The friends who want to stay in touch, do. That's good enough for me.





So, that was my time with the New York City public school system.  I made the best of it and can't really complain about the free education.

 

Next came college.  I decide to go to New York University (my safety school) because I was able to pay my own way after all the scholarships and grants were deducted from the tuition. I worked a lot of hours but I did it with some student loans.  I spent the majority of my time in the buildings photographed.  Unfortunately, Loeb Student Center was torn down to make way for a bigger and better building.  That is where I ate many meals, hung out in the lounge and at the offices of the Asian Cultural Union (ACU), saw movies, attended parties, and even modeled in a fashion show.

NYU - Tisch Hall

NYU - Weaver Hall, Courant Institute

NYU- Coles Sports Center

NYU - Bobst Library

   

NYU - Main Building, Waverly Place

NYU- Main Building, Washington Place

NYU School of Law

At last, my final place of education in English -- New York University School of Law.  This was my dream school. 

This was also the only school where I felt like a minority.  In all my years in New York, I never felt like an outsider.  We had sit-in protests and meeting with Dean Sexton about getting a more diverse faculty.  In the end, I think we did make a difference. 

This is the place where I went to school pregnant with my first child.  I vowed that I would graduate with my class and I did!

NY Chinese School in Chinatown

Now: Chinese School. 

During my lifetime, learning Chinese has always been a great challenge.  In my younger years, I was forced to go to Chinatown's Chinese school. So what if Cantonese was the only dialect they taught and I didn't understand them!  Later on, they began offering Mandarin.  I still didn't do too well. 

I would regret this later in life and ended up enrolling in the Chinese school where I sent my children, Ming Yuan Chinese School.  Believe it or not, it is housed in P.S. 13Q on Sundays.  Here I was, an adult going to Chinese school in my elementary school building -- is there a message in that?



That's it for today's installment of my "Doors Project" covering the schools where I went for formal education.  Stay tuned for another entry which will include the places I went to in order to learn fun things like ceramics, quilting, and painting.

Door Project

95 Madison Avenue - LW Stern Associates

I've been thinking about all the doors I've gone in and out of in New York throughout the years. My plan is to take photos of them and make a scrapbook detailing where the door is and why it is important to me. For many years I have been planning to do this but I never seemed to have the time or a camera on me. I am also a procrastinator.

Well, the Elmhurst branch of the Queens Public Library has been completely torn down and I never got to take a photo of it's entrance. This has been nagging at me and a constant reminder to stop procrastinating. If only I had started my project last summer! Well, I spent so much time there reading and borrowing books since this was one of the few places we were allowed to go to after school. It was a library which was built by a Carnegie grant. A piece of American history, and my personal history, is now gone.

This summer is going to be the summer I get it done -- YES, I swear it!

Yesterday, when I dropped off my son at a theater camp in Midtown, I hadn't totally planned out how I would kill the next seven and a half hours. Here was the time I never had. In my purse was an iPhone which takes fabulous photos. Duh, perfect timing, right?

As I sat in Starbucks eating breakfast and waiting for the Muhlenberg Library to open, I called my friend to see if she was free for lunch. Not in, left a message. I flipped through some knitting and crocheting books in the library for an hour until City Quilter opened. After buying some fabrics for a baby quilt, I called Lorna and found out that she couldn't meet me on such short notice due to a busy work day. I headed over to Bryant Park to read my book and eat my three organic carrots which I had packed from home. Still no thought given to the "Door Project".

Bear in mind, my day was unplanned so I had on a dress and a nice pair of shoes with some heels (in case I met up with my friend). It was going to be a hot and humid summer day -- high in the 90's.

After I started getting overheated from sitting in the shade at Bryant Park, I walked over to the Shake Shake to see if I could grab a quick snack. Well, the line was super long causing me to change my mind. At this point, I still didn't think about my "Door Project" despite having the time and camera. I had already missed the opportunity to take a photo of City Quilter and FIT, important places in my quilting life.

It wasn't until I started walking uptown on Madison that it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was so close to 95 Madison -- where I spent many years working at L.W. Stern Associates, a headhunting firm. I started working there when I was at Stuyvesant High School. I still remember my interview with Susan Fein and Hannan Watson. This is how I put myself through college. I even worked there for a short stint before law school. The job was office work and menial at times but I really liked the people. Happy memories at work and after work with my co-workers and boss.

350 Fifth Avenue - Abacus Group of America

And so it began, I stood across the street and took out my phone to take a shot of the door. It took a while to get the best photo since taxis and cars and people kept getting in my shot. At this point, I knew what I would do for the rest of the day. I walked up to the Empire State Building where I worked one summer, my first office job.

101 Park Avenue - Keely Drye & Warren

Next was 101 Park Avenue, for my corporate lawyer career at Kelley Drye & Warren. I was paid a lot but not many happy memories there. Unfortunately, Peking Park was no longer at 100 Park Avenue. That's where we had our wedding reception. A few more blocks north to 530 Fifth Avenue for my job between college and law school at Price Waterhouse.

530 Fifth Avenue - Price Waterhouse

By now, I am hot and need some air conditioning. So, I headed to the main branch of the NY Public Library. I happened upon the "Lunch Hour" exhibit tour and joined it. When my feet started hurting, I left and went outside to sit down for some more reading. Moving around Bryant Park for a breeze in the shade every chapter or so until it was time to pick up my son.

I didn't get as much accomplished on my "Door Project" as I had hoped but at least I started. I guess the theme for yesterday was "Work", which seemed to have been mainly in the Midtown area.

Next week, I will wear comfortable shoes, use the unlimited MetroCard, and get more places before they are gone. I'll pick different neighborhoods in order to be more efficient.

NOTE: The large planters in front of 530 and 101 were not there before.  I think those are post-9/11 additions. Also, I gave up waiting for people and vehicles to clear our of my shots, it was too hot!

Sad Movies

I am one of those people who needs a couple of tissues for sad movies. But lately I have found myself crying more than usual while watching "touching" films such as "Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close" and "The Help."

When I shared that I cried during "The Decendents", some people were surprised. I felt a little teary the second time I watched but didn't need a tissue for tears or to blow my nose. That was when I had my "a-ha moment" and figured out that it wasn't the story that made me sad but my inner emotions relating to the death of my father. Watching a character in the movie on life support brought back memories of my father's last few days with us in a coma in the ICU. After four years since his death, I still have trouble watching another person die.

I swore that I never wanted to make that decision for anotheIr living person.

Then our pet dog got very sick and there I was at the vet, making that end of life decision again. He wasn't in a coma or near coma state but he was in great pain. I cried so hard that day, my son was worried I couldn't drive home. Paul's death was like peeling the scab off of the open wound caused by Daddy's death.

At this point, I think the wound is gone. The scab has fallen off. But there is a great big scar that people may not see. The reminders of those two deaths and my involvement have left me more emotional when watching movies with related subject matter.

So, if a movie doesn't seem like something worth crying over, it may be because you are sitting there without the scar and memories I have which make me sad. Just pass the tissue and I'll be alright in a little while.

Homemade Toothpaste

I have decided to take the plunge into the world of do-it-yourself home products. After a long wait to get the peppermint essential oil, we made our toothpaste using a simple recipe which included baking soda, sea salt (for abrasion), peppermint essential oil (just for flavor), and filtered water. The recipe warned about the salty taste. It sure was salty to me, but that may be because I am on a restricted salt diet and no longer tolerate salty things. On the plus side, it got me to brush with more water and more rinsing until the saltiness was gone. My teeth feel nice and clean.

I added glycerin to half the toothpaste we made to see if there is any difference. There were also recipes calling for other ingredients and for using hydrogen peroxide together with the toothpaste. So many things to consider and try. Once I've tried all the different ones, I'll report back on what I found to be most effective and pleasing.

After that, the next thing I want to try to make is shampoo. I've read that there won't be bubbles anymore unless I add unnecessary ingredients. Not sure how I would feel without a big lather on my head. Not having a foaming mouth was not a problem for me (but I think the hydrogen peroxide should provide some chemical reaction resulting in bubbles).

Stay tuned ...

Holidays

Somehow, this year, I am really not in any mood to celebrate "The Holidays" in any shape or form. I can't figure out what is bothering me but there's absolutely no motivation to decorate or host a dinner.

Maybe the basement flood in September, caused by a leaking water heater, resulting in months of cleanup and repairs drained my energy. Buying things to replace stuff we had to throw out resulted in expenses we didn't budget for. Dealing with an insurance adjuster who wasn't understanding didn't help the situation. Or, perhaps throwing out my artificial tree (which was a victim of the flood) was the catalyst. Maybe it was a more important part of Christmas in my life than I had realized.

Maybe it was the specific item requested for Christmas that killed it for me. I couldn't find a man's small, plain dark red or blue zippered hoodie in any nearby stores and ended up wasting time and energy, which I didn't really have to begin with. After buying it online from Target a few weeks ago, I find out that it was the only item I bought to be back-ordered. At least I found it last week and a huge burden was lifted.

Maybe I'm waiting for my sibling to invite me over for Christmas. I am tired of hosting it at my house.

Maybe it's the whole depressing state of affairs in this country. The economy is so bad with no foreseeable solution in the near future. Everything seems to cost more than ever. The political candidates are annoying with no foreseeable savior in the near future. The crime rate is higher and my fear is rising. When people start shooting cops, what hope do I have of feeling safe?

It's already December 21st. Only four more days until Christmas. Only ten more days until my birthday.

Something wonderful has to happen to get me out of this slump. I am grateful for all the nice things people have been doing for me. I really do know how lucky and blessed I am. Having some friends over at the house last Friday was fun but so short-lived. The giant box of See's candy from my big brother was very nice. JoAnn's tin of homemade holiday cookies was also nice. Michael bought me an autographed copy of "Charlie & Kiwi" to cheer me up. Seeing our friend in a Christmas show broke the negative mood for a day or two. Lunch at Angel's house yesterday was fun and the latkes were such a treat.

I wish I knew what was wrong with my holiday spirit this year. I can't even get myself to write a annual summary of what's been going on in our lives. Does anyone really care if I send one?

Eating Healthy

No matter how hard I try to eat healthy foods, I have cravings for unhealthy stuff.

Now that our CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) farm is delivering our weekly organic summer fruits and vegetables from the North Fork of Long Island, I have been eating more vegetables again. But when my daughter came home with a bag of zeppoles, just for me...I just couldn't resist the temptation to eat one. Then another. Alas, others help eat a few but the last one in the bag, sitting in powdered sugar, kept calling my name. Until, I finally ate it.

Yesterday, I came home and discovered that my precious daughter baked chocolate chip cookies. Just because she wanted to try a new recipe. I resisted eating any for a while since I had already indulged in a section of a cinnamon sugar pretzel from Aunt Annie's earlier in the day. She told everyone that we each get five cookies. I took the littlest one, which happened to be "well toasted" on the bottom. This was in an effort to satisfy the craving and maybe turn me off from any more. After dinner, I ate my other four cookies. I couldn't believe how weak I was. I did eat my delicious fresh escarole which I picked up from the distribution site. My logic was that I rode my bike instead of driving so that was energy used up. I had also walked a lot that day so I needed to replenish all those calories I had used up.

Well...at least I am getting some healthy foods into this body of mine despite putting in junk too.

My mantra: Eat what I want since I will only live once.

I also think about another cartoon with a person asking his doctor, "Am I living longer or does it just feel like it?" So, I may not live as long as I could or should have, but I am enjoying this journey by eating what I want (usually, in moderation).

Waste of Time?

Recently, I learned how to read knitting patterns. That day, I went and bought a book with various sock patterns (using a 50% off coupon so it wasn't too expensive). I had some yarn from a friend and my mother, so that didn't cost me anything. As for the knitting needles, they were given to me when a friend's grandmother passed away. So, that was free too.

Now all I needed was some "free time" to start my project. It took me several hours to make the first pair. I succeeded and gifted them to my hubby. My next pair was made using a different pattern and larger size. I succeeded and gifted those to my hubby too. He really liked how they fit and felt.

Now I decided to tackle the fancier stitches. These looked girly, so I intended to give them to my daughter. I got bored after making the first pattern and decided to try the next one. This resulted in a pair of socks which look the same from afar but had different patterns by the ankle and different toe endings (one pointed and one blunt). So, I had to make another one (but I chose yet another pattern). She was still not happy. So, I made yet another sock using a fourth pattern. Mind you, these four socks are all made from the same exact giant skein of yarn and look similar (when you have shoes on and are standing a few feet away).

All along, my youngest is telling me to stop making socks for his sister if she's going to be so ungrateful. Yet, I continued. Making a different pattern with each new sock. Eventually, I ran out of that yarn. That skein of off-white yarn yielded a total of five socks. Yup! Two and a half pairs.

I tried to convince her that people are selling mismatched socks and others are intentionally mismatching their socks and even sneakers. It helped when I pointed out that the only people who would know the designs were different were those in our household and nosy people (and I guess anyone who read this blog). She reluctantly took two with similar toes and wore them for a few minutes, in the house. I kept the other three mismatched socks for myself.

Luckily, I have another big skein yarn just like the first one, BUT....it's pink! This time, I am using smaller needles to see if the socks will have a different feel. I also vow to make two of the same pattern so that there will be matching pairs for picky recipients.

So....was this all a waste of time when I could've bought a pair of socks for only a few dollars? No....I'm having fun and learning to follow instructions. I used to just be creative and make what I felt like and could never reproduce anything identical. It would've annoyed me to make a good sock and not be able to make a second. Another good thing, I can now knit much faster than when I first started. It doesn't take nearly as long to knit a pair of socks compared to a few weeks ago.

Think about it, I would've wasted my time doing something else, like being on Facebook or writing a blog. Gosh, I could've been knitting a sock with the time I spent typing this up.

Spare Time

What is "spare time" really? I guess I would consider it any time that I am left over with AFTER having to do everything that must be done. But am I using up my spare time if I go on Facebook in the morning to see what everyone else is posting, BEFORE I do my chores or errands?

When I find myself waiting for a child at some class or activity, I always bring along something to do. I like making something -- knitting, crocheting, sewing, etc. I can still chat and multitask at the same time. Otherwise, there's always organizing my schedule or cleaning out my purse. Once in a while, I'll read on the subway or bring a Kakuro puzzle book to solve. I can't seem to be idle -- lest I fall asleep!

The best thing to do during "spare time" is .... take a nap or bath. Yeah, I think those are the winners! But the problem is the addiction to all the distractions on the computer: Spider Solitaire, Facebook, Yelp, Twitter, emails, etc.

Now that tax time is looming, I must put aside some of those distractions and get the papers in order. There goes a big chunk of spare time :(

Comfort Food

On this dark and damp morning, I am thinking about comfort food. Yesterday's lunch was a reminder of the old days. Drinking the hot soy bean milk brought back memories of the family grinding the beans on an old stone grinder. Later on, we used an electric blender. It also reminded me of breakfasts in Taipei at the famous shop near my grandfather's house.

Meatloaf and mashed potatoes make me feel all warm inside. Chicken pot pie. Curry chicken and rice. Steamed pork soup dumplings. Pancakes.

Is it possible to have something cold as comfort food? Maybe. I think some people eat ice cream but I don't. I really don't think I have ever considered something cold as comforting.

So what do you consider "comfort food"?

Next Door Neighbors

Growing up in a big city, it's hard to know who your neighbors are. When we were in an apartment building in Manhattan, we knew our next door neighbors and recognized the people on our floor. Then when we moved to Queens, we knew the next door neighbors and made friends with the family across the street who had children our age. After getting married and moving, we only knew our next door neighbors because we were busy with law school and work.

At last, we bought our own home. Now, we only knew the old couple from next door because we were so busy working. I befriended the other neighbor when I got locked out of the house one morning after dropping off B at the babysitter's house. These neighbors let me borrow their phone to call a locksmith to break the lock. That was before I had a cell phone. Eventually, the old couple passed away. The other neighbors were renters so they kept changing.

After I retired, I got to know more people on our block. Whenever a new family moved in around us, I would introduce myself and welcome them. It seemed like the right thing to do. So far there's only been one house a few doors down who chose to be unfriendly.

Well....this morning, I was rudely awakened by people wanting me to move my vehicle so that a big-ass moving van could park. They were moving stuff for my new neighbors -- right next door! I can't believe the next door neighbors would move without telling me?! The wife was out with us cleaning up after the tornado hit a few weeks ago. I had left them a note (with my phone number) last week before the garage roof work started, asking for permission to use their backyard. I did notice that their dog wasn't around, so I thought they were on vacation. Apparently, my son saw them moving stuff out this weekend while I was away. After all these years, they couldn't tell me they were leaving? I am a little hurt. We weren't friends, but it would've been nice for them to say something.

Meanwhile, the neighbors who rented on the other side moved out about a month ago. Now we'll have to wait and see who the new tenants are. After all these years, I think I only got to really know two families who have lived there.

We live in a busy city where people are always in and out of their homes. We see each other only for brief moments in passing. The families with children are easier to befriend. One neighbor who lives behind us is definitely in the "friends" category. Our children get along so well and they can play together whenever we're both home. That was how it was with my friend Sharon who lived across the street. That's how I imagined it would be when we moved here but there weren't enough families with children.

I hope the two new sets of next door neighbors are nice. It would be a bonus if they had children who got along with my children.

Tornado

Yesterday evening, a tornado went through my neighborhood. I did not know there was a tornado warning issued at the time. I heard the thunder and the house got dark really fast. When I looked out the dining room window, rain was going horizontally in heavy sheets. It was so unbelievable, I called my son to come see. Had I known there was a tornado warning telling people to seek shelter below ground and away from windows, I wouldn't have done that. When we turned around, we saw tree branches flying across our living room windows. At this point I was SCARED but ran to get my camera to document it!

Then it ended in a matter of minutes. I think the whole storm lasted 5 minutes at most, or what seemed like 5 minutes.

When I wanted to call my other children to check on them, I realized they were probably still in their college classes. Our phone lines were dead. When I got my cell phone, my daughter had already left me a message saying she was waiting out the storm and her friend's parents were coming to pick them up. I felt a sense of relief knowing that. Had I known at the time that their campus was the worse hit area of Queens, I would've been worried beyond control. When I spoke with B, he was OK. I told him to meet up with his sister for a ride home since there was no way for me to get to them.

So many trees were down in my neighborhood that cars were driving up our one way street in the wrong direction just to get to a main thoroughfare. It started to get sunnier and so we ventured out to see what was going on. The sky was a greenish-yellow hue. We were supposed to go to a home schooling meeting later that evening but I called to say I wouldn't make it. I didn't know how awful it was outside of my neighborhood but the thought of driving later in the dark with trees on the ground was not something I wanted to do. Later on, I found out there were blackout in some areas and traffic signals around me were not working. So glad we stayed put. Gridlock was really awful.

There was an eerie silence outside, other than the sirens and alarms. People were out assessing the damage. It was surreal! The weird coloring of the air gave such an unreal aura. I never could've imagined so much damage in such a short period of time. It was nothing compared to television reports of the Midwest towns which are leveled by tornadoes. We live in brick houses which stand up better to the winds, I guess. But it was bad.

After driving today, I felt really sad thinking about all the trees which are now going to be cleared away. So many looked as if someone chewed off the top or twisted the branches off. When I came home from picking up A this afternoon because buses weren't stopping (she was too tired to walk home after doing it yesterday and walking most of the way this morning), I felt a bit depressed. The toppled trees will be killed. The snapped trees will be killed. The split trees will be killed.

One woman died on the Grand Central Parkway by Jewel Avenue. I thought of her as I drove by that area. A human life lost in this tornado. Amazingly, only one!

The branches impaled in our garage and in the sidewalks just tells you the force of the tornado. They could've killed pedestrians! Thank God they didn't.

At the end of the day, it wasn't so bad but I will definitely never forget it.

September 11th

Remembering those lost on September 11, 2001. Remembering those so close to losing their lives that day. Remembering those left behind to face the world full of hatred and sadness.

So much has changed. Yet, so much remains the same. There are still wars in parts of the world. There are still arguments over religions. There are still hungry and dying people everywhere. There is still so much unhappiness.

Nine years. It seems like a long time ago for me. Yet it is only a tiny chunk on the time line of mankind. Will it be something that the world remembers a hundred years from now? Will it only be remembered by those in the U.S.? Will it be passed down in families that lost their loved ones?

It was a pivotal time in my life. But will it be significant in the history of the world? I wonder, as I continue to pray for peace on earth for all of us.

Frugal or Stingy?

I've been wondering lately whether I am frugal or stingy? Of course, everyone wants to be in the frugal category.

My sister-in-law recently made fun of me when I told her how I used Peapod delivery for groceries by putting sale items on my order and choosing a delivery date after the sale is over. This allows me to add on the next week's sale items as well. Two weeks of sale items on one delivery seems like a frugal trait. But she thinks I am trying to work the system. But later that day, she told me how she was using her sister's membership to some buyers group which could get her a refrigerator for a lower price including delivery. I pointed out that she also likes to get deals. She then said "Who doesn't like to find a deal and save some money?" WTH??

I don't buy the fruits and vegetables from the "rotting cart" to save on food costs. I don't buy every newspaper on Sunday to collect coupons (but I will use them if I have). I don't make my child go under the turnstile or squeeze in for one fare. I don't buy bottled water (except if I'm dying of thirst and forgot to fill my Kleen Kanteen). I don't drive out of the way just to avoid tolls.

I do look for free parking before choosing to pay for parking. I do resist turning on the air conditioner unless I can't breathe. I do shop at outlets when we are near one. I do use the libraries instead of buying books. I do donate less than the suggested amounts at museums. I do try the free samples at Trader's Joe's if it looks OK. I do save junk mail and use the back for scrap paper.

Before I buy something, I try to ask myself "Do you need it?" and "Is this a good price for it?" I don't always remember to ask one or both questions. If it is something we need and I don't have the time and energy to bargain-hunt, then I buy it.

I don't know if my lifestyle can be considered frugal or stingy or both, but I still would like to think that I'm not stingy.

Frivolous Lawsuits

There are so many jokes about lawyers and a general mistrust of lawyers. All the negativity probably stems from the amount of frivolous lawsuits in this country. Why is it that whenever someone is wronged, others say "Sue them"?

Last August, while driving home with a carload of happy children (mine and my friend Steve's), I was struck by a motorcyclist half a block from my house. Minivan vs. motorcycle. Guess who got hurt (allegedly) and sues? Yup, the motorcyclist, who didn't even have any insurance.

He scared the shit out of me! After jumping out of my vehicle to check on him, I went back to get my cell phone and called 911. I thought I was going to have a heart attack right then and there! I was in shock. The cops did take my information and statement. He was refusing medical treatment but his dad (an auxillary cop who was the first one on the scene but didn't tell me their relationship) told him to get in the ambulance. His father stayed behind and was so nonchalant about the event. Maybe he was already planning to sue? When it was all over and I got home, I called GEICO. They asked me for his information. I never even exchanged information with this guy! That's how shaken up I was.

For days I didn't sleep well because I kept replaying it over in my head to see if I could've done anything different. The cop said that the motorcyclist would've been dead had I not stopped the way I did. I did everything they tell you to do in defensive driving class and this shit still happens.

I was ready to never drive again. I could be as careful as I want to be but there are reckless people out there. Thank God no one got seriously hurt -- of course he claims he did.

After a while, I got served with papers (improper service since I wasn't home to receive it). The dumbass lawyer he hired coundn't even hire a proper process server. Anyway, I was being sued by this moron!

Well, I got good news yesterday -- the case was resolved and not going forward. This nightmare that hung over me for the last year is over. Now, I fear what it will do to my insurance premium. All because of a frivolous lawsuit.

I always hated those scummy lawyers and now I hate them even more. Maybe I am an elitist lawyer who gradated from a top law school and worked at a large firm as a corporate attorney. Or, maybe I am just another person in America who is fed up with all the baseless claims which get settled just to keep litigation costs down.

Time for tort reform!

Gifts

I enjoy giving gifts which are meaningful. Some times I have enough time to make a present. Other times I don't. This past weekend was spent making a mermaid's tail for a 10 year's birthday. I had never done it before. I didn't have a pattern. It was quite a challenge. But I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was so nice to see her expression when she found it hidden in the box which she thought only contained a hoodie!

Those who know me know that my memory is awful. We've been married over 21 years now. Amazingly, I do remember specific wedding presents and who gave them to us but have no idea how much money people gave. I know who got us our furniture (my parents), first television set (big brother), silverware (Grace and Chris), wicker chest (John & Su-u), towels with our names (David), Esprit blanket (Warren), etc.

The same applies for the baby presents we received for my children -- alphabet quilt with removable toys (Chiu), quilted photo album (Ronald), A's big teddy (Nadine), M's big teddy (Oleg), weekly delivery of diapers (Hsin-Yu), group quilt (quilting class at the Y), gold jewelry (Susan), portable playpen (home schoolers), etc. Other than the savings bonds, I don't recall monetary gifts.

I don't know if other people have memory problems like mine but that is the reason I make baby blankets or quilts as gifts and shop off of registries or wish lists rather than give money.

Someone asked my husband why I don't sell my plarn tote bags. I have been giving them away to friends and family. What would I charge? Nothing would seem like enough compensation for the amount of time I put into it. I asked him if we needed the money. If we did, I would sell them. The answer was "No." So, I will continue to give them away as gifts (for no occasion).

Best Friends

The other day when I was driving home I spotted my best friend from junior high. She actually lives a block away from me now but we pretty much lost touch after junior high school. I was explaining this to my children and it sounded weird that I have a former best friend so close by yet we don't talk, other than when we run into each other -- chit chat about small things.

I got to thinking about all my "best friends" from the past. In first grade, my best friend was Sara (or Sarah, I don't even know how her name was spelled or what her last name was). When I moved in the summer after second grade, we lost touch. In P.S. 13, my best friend was Christina D. I would stop at her house, on the way to and from school, and play with her pet rabbit before walking the rest of the way. We lost touch after we went our separate ways to junior high. In Chinese School, there was Susan. But then she moved to Rockland County and we saw each other less frequently. In JHS 73, there was a trio - me, Judy, and Cathy. Cathy moved to NJ before ninth grade but we kept in touch by writing, telephone, and sleepovers. Somehow I lost touch with Judy when we went to high school even though she lived a few blocks from where I lived. In Stuy, there was another trio - me, Susan, and Christine. Then I went to NYU while they went to Cornell (where Cathy went too). I was so sad without them that I applied for transfer to Cornell. I didn't end up going because I couldn't afford it. In NYU, there was Grace, Judy, and later on, Karen and Dixon. At Price Waterhouse, there was Marie. At law school, there was Lorna. At Kelley Drye, there was Grace (again).

I really began to lose my friends when I got married and had children. Single people didn't understand the time commitment need to build a family while going to law school. Then when I started working, I had even less time to see friends and keep in touch.

In a more fluid environment where you don't see the same people every day at the same place, it takes more effort to maintain a friendship. As my free time decreased exponentially, rather than start new deeper friendships, I held on to the ones I already had since I really suck at keeping in touch, calling, writing, etc. I don't even send out Christmas cards any more! But email and Facebook have helped me reconnect with friends and maintain current friendships.

I don't know if I believe in BFFs since I can't seem to keep a best friend for any extended period of time. I've given up on that concept, other than my sister who has always been there for me.

Nowadays, my closest friends are those who understand how hectic my life is and are forgiving for my lack of communication (especially non-FB friends). Give me a good friend I can talk to anytime and trust, and I'll be happy.

Music and Art

I grew up listening to music before I fell asleep and waking up to music on my alarm clock/radio. I played the viola from sixth grade until I graduated from high school. Over two summers, I learned how to play the piano from my cousins. Other than that, I have no musical talent. But I do believe that everyone might have musical ability. Unfortunately, my hubby doesn't agree.

During my recent painting of the living room, I had to move the piano to the center of the living room. Many years ago, I had purchased a Roland electric 88-key upright which has grand piano sound and touch sensitive keys. I spent a few thousand on it (with the intention of trading up to a grand piano when we moved into a bigger house). Well, we never moved so I never traded up. I meant to learn to play the piano but gave up. Nobody is taking lessons on it any more and it is rarely played. So, hubby was angry that I spent the money on it and that it is just taking up space. He also complained about the drum set in the basement and the violin (very grumpy that day). M is still playing his violin but B rarely touches his drum set. We also have other instruments hidden around the house -- recorder, accordion, harmonica, ocarina, and, my newest acquisition, a jaw harp. I just learned how to play it today even though I bought it last month in Colonial Williamsburg.

I guess I would like my children to be able to play something if they feel inclined to. And they do occasionally play on their musical instruments or listen to music. It's the same as having art supplies readily available in case you have the desire to create artwork. That's another thing we disagree about. Maybe the problem is that he's not musically or artistically inclined and/or didn't have any exposure to it at a young age? I can't imagine what my life would be without music or art.

During the year that I took off after working at KDW, I felt such an urge to get back some creativity in my life. That's when I took painting classes, ceramics classes, and quilting classes. I really enjoyed that year. It wasn't an "Eat, Pray, and Love" year. It was a "Create, Create, and Create" year. I guess I had music in my life -- radio in the office playing "elevator music." What I missed was making artwork. I loved all three mediums but quilting was the easiest to do "on the go."

I am taking a break from quilting right now but I am creating things with yarn. I have so much fun making stuff without patterns. It's like improvising on a musical instrument.

So, go and make beautiful music and art!!

Zeppoles

There are times when I crave a certain thing to eat. For the last few months, it's been zeppoles. No.....I am not pregnant! I just want fried dough sprinkled with powdered sugar. We used to get them from the Feast of San Gennaro on Mulberry St.

I tried making my own with Indian Fried Bread Mix which I got from the National Museum of the American Indians. We tried it in Chicago and the taste reminded me of zeppoles. I even put the ones I made into small, brown paper bags and poured the confectioner's sugar into the bags and shook it all up. Pretty close imitation.

Recently, we had some funnel cakes from Busch Gardens and again at Water Country USA. I thought I had satisfied my cravings. But, somehow, I still want the Italian zeppoles from a street fair. I know I still have the craving because while we were watching "The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood" there was a scene with beignets which got me thinking about zeppoles again -- to me, beignets are basically the same thing but in a square shape and from the South.

How do I get rid of this craving? Is it my body telling me that I need unhealthy greasy stuff and sugar?!

ZEPPOLES

Why aren't they more readily available like donuts or chocolates?

How long before I get to bite into a hot, fried piece of round dough covered with sweet, powdery confectioner's sugar?